Neural Gourmet Archives | Feed Your Brain
Neural Gourmet Archives | Feed Your Brain"Tom DeLay is being persecuted because he's a Christian, not because he did anthing WRONG!"
"Gotta fight'em THERE so's we don' hafta fight'em HERE!"
"This is BOB. BOB's HAPPY, because he's discovered Natural Male Enhancement!"
"Our NEW SUV's get 50% MORE gas mileage!" (18 instead of 12, STILL shitty, IMO)
"My proven Hyno-therapy tapes will make you stop smoking, drinking, and cure your premature ejaculation, too, all for just $19.99!"
"The Insurgency is in its last throes..."
"This is Faux News, your FAIR and BALANCED newsource!"
"But, it's so COMPLEX! There just HAS to be an Intelligent Designer behind it all!"
"If you criticize the president in Time of War(tm), then Jeebus will cry, and people's kids will come home in body bags!"
I've had it. I'm SO deafened by the sound of my "Bullshit Detector" CONSTANTLY going off I can't think anymore.
You look at the "Media" these days, and they're either going off about some fucking shark turd/former pretty white blond girl still missing in Aruba, or how many times Tom Cruise's baby kicked his mommy in the ribs last night, or is Britney pregnant again, or just turning into the sloppy-fat piece of trailer trash I always knew she was, or Pickles Bush just fired another Chef (at least she didn't run him down like an ex-boyfriend), or we can watch scrawny-assed Condom-sleezy Lice doing ab crunches....
Or the State of Missouri passes a resolution "recognizing the contributions made to This Great Nation (TM Bushco) by Christianity", or Indiana tries to get Steve Buyer to pass a Federal law allowing the House of Bubbas to open their sessions with a revival meeting like the church scene with James Brown in "The Blues Brothers...
And then you get into the mystical magical powers your average Sheeple attributes to yellow "ribbon" magnets, Angel dolls, Thomas Kincaid paintings, and those so-cute-I-could-puke "Magical 9-11 Teddy Bears" dressed up like Marines or FDNY or NYPD officers that sit on top of the Teeee-Veeee set that never tunes anything other than Faux Nooz or "Murkan Eye-DULL"...
And as an Atheist, well, don't you know that I'm just WRONG, and maybe somebody dropped me on my head or something, but if I'd just go to THIS church, then THIS Pastor would explain to me that my literal reading of the King James Buy-Bull was WRONG, because after all, *I* didn't go to the "Close Cover Before Striking School of Divinity and Taxidermy" like "Pastor" did... I just haven't EXPERIENCED "Gawd's Love", y'know, and those folks who were mean to me? well, they don't go to THIS church, so obviously they learned False doctrine and they're NOT "Real Christians"...
Fuck it.
The whole damn world has gone Looney-Tunes, and I sometimes feel like the only reason I haven't hightailed it to a remote island someplace is because of my morbid curiosity to see just exactly WHAT kind of ludicrous shit they come up with to ram down the oh-so-gullible Murkan Sheeple's throats next....
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You can't let it drive you in that direction. It's probably too late for our generation, but maybe your daughter's generation can make the world a saner and more human friendly place.
In the meantime, those of us still sane really should be organizing or at least setting up some kind of rationalist commune.
