Firstly I need to emphasise my credentials as a progressive, I hate the Right too. However fearing the extremism of the right is not enough, we need a purge of the Left because there is a 5th Column in our midst, namely Pastafarian extremists. For although people are mostly good, extremists exist everywhere, including in the FSM movement.

Pastafarianazis are what they are, with their mythologies and their glorification of piracy and their reputation for non-intellectual ideas. To ensure the purity of liberalism we must identify these bearded characters, counter their opposition to Judeo-Christianity and their notions of beer volcanoes; remember these people are dangerous and will come for us eventually. Big f’n scary PIRATES!

Secondly what is a Pastafarianazi? Pastafarian refers to those who love pirates, hate anti-piracy laws, hoard booty, love spaghetti, and who dance on the groin of mainstream religion, defecating on it with vile disregard worthy of an atheist whackjob. I should point out that not all Pastafarians are Pastafarianazis, so I don’t want you writing back to me after I insult you all, because if you’re angry at me then this doesn’t apply to you.

The –nazi part is ad hominem suffix attached to people, ideas and concepts I don’t like, such as skeptinazis, Quakeroatsnazis, Buddhanazis, Highlandterriernazis and so on. Anyway these Pastafarians are wussy foppish characters who get all hurt when their notions are attacked and called extreme, and they get mad at me for it. See how extreme they are?

Pastafarinazis don’t understand quantum mechanics, neither do I. Therefore I am fully qualified to comment on the subject, something to do with strings, but all you need to know is that with all those extra universes, dimensions and stuff it instantly casts doubts on Pastafarian assertions, and proves they suck and I am best.

I have tried to find peer-reviewed sources for my hasty generalisations and ad hominem attacks but I am too mad about the great threat that Pastafarianazis present to America. France loves pirates and they suck too, they bathe as often as pirates anyway. Keep those Pastafarianazi pirates away from our shores; we already have a Judeo-Christian heritage of fallacy, mythology, quackery and ad hominem attacks and we don’t need anyone else’s.

BTW: I said not all Pastafarians are Pastafarianazis, you people sicken me… don’t you read? Duh! F’n pirate Pastafarianazis. That just proves my point.

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