I don't make a big secret of the fact (at least not here in anonymous abyss of Cybespace) that I suffer from emotional problems, mostly stemming from an abusive marriage I found myself caught-up in about 10 years ago. Oh, I feel the need right up front to explain that I was the victim, since Popular Culture (CSI-SVU, Lifetime Network) tends to automatically assume that the MALE is always the abuser.

So after a year of working with my therapist, we decide to look into the possibility that I'm experiencing PTSD. Yeah, I know, pretty far-fetched, since I wasn't in NYC the "Day IT Happened", and I was too young for The Nam, but there are documented cases of abuse survivors having it. So we're looking into it, especially as it relates to the social isolation I've put myself into for the past 10 years.

I don't really like to talk to people face-to-face about it, because most folks think I'm trying to be funny or something, passing myself off as a "real" man who was emotionally and sexually abused by a woman who finally threw my ass in the street and moved in her new GIRLFRIEND. And I don't really want to put myself "out there" again, like Charlie Brown and his fucking football that Lucy always yanks out of his way. So I live apart. My life consists of get up, do the "Three Esses", go to work, have as little contact with people as possible, come home, eat (too much), tend the plants, feed the fish, MAYBE ride my bike (lees and less these days) surf the web for raunchy cheesecake, rinse, lather, repeat...

But even then, I managed to find a girlfriend about 8 years ago, but as the years have gone on, the "relationship" has deteriorated to where she pretty much only uses me as a sounding board for her endless kvetching and complaining about things like the high price of everything and the Plight of the Polar Bears. Oh, and a strong back to help with the lifting, too. And we share meals about 4X a week, but not a bed.

So I'm explaining what's going on with my Therapy, waiting for her to say "Not to change the subject, BUT...." like she does after 2-3 minutes when she gets tired of hearing about me and wants to kvetch about Polar Bears again, and anyway, I mention that we're looking at PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, in case you didn't know) And she blurts out "Are you KIDDING??????"

No shit. Of COURSE, she tries to explain herself out of it, but the First Blurt is Always the Truest, so I'm like "What-EVAH, Girlfriend..."

Well, at least I'm no longer struggling with dumping her solely because she's had a rough menopause now...

What say ye, members of the jury? Is my "friend" a jerk? 

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